For four years of our relationship I always paid for everything, even though we both worked. But the day I asked her to pay for her own coffee and she made a scene, I realized it was time to put her in her place 😢😲
That morning we were sitting in a small café by the window. It was a quiet Sunday morning, almost no people around. The waiter brought the bill and placed it on the table. I opened the folder and looked at the amount. My omelet and coffee cost a little more than three hundred, her croissant and cappuccino were about two hundred.
I took out my phone and calmly said:
— Transfer me the money for your order.
She looked up and stared at me in surprise.
— What?
— For the croissant and coffee. Send two hundred.
She leaned back in her chair and looked at me silently for a few seconds.
— Are you serious right now?
— Absolutely.
She slowly said:
— Oleg, you’re asking me for two hundred rubles? After four years of a relationship?
I nodded. And at that moment I realized that the conversation I had avoided for so long was finally about to begin.
We met four years ago at the birthday party of mutual friends. A few months later she moved in with me. Almost immediately it turned out that all the expenses fell on me. I paid for groceries, the apartment, trips, cafés, gifts and vacations. I didn’t really think about it because I believed it was normal.
She worked freelance and often said her income was unstable. When she did get money, it usually went on clothes, cosmetics or some courses. She almost never contributed to shared expenses.
And after she refused to pay for herself, I finally realized that in this relationship I had always been nothing more than a cash cow, and it was time to put an end to it. I did something I don’t regret, because in a relationship everyone should know their place.
Six months ago I opened my banking app and looked at my expenses for the year. Almost everything had been paid from my card. Her transfers appeared rarely, and only after I asked.
I tried to discuss it calmly.
— Maybe we should split the expenses? For example, groceries fifty-fifty.
She replied:
— You have a stable salary. It’s logical that the main expenses are on you.
After that conversation I realized the situation was unlikely to change.
So that morning I simply asked her to pay for her breakfast.
She looked at me and said:
— For four years you never talked about money. And now you’re asking me to transfer two hundred rubles?
I answered calmly:
— Because I’m tired of paying for everything alone.
She sighed, took out her phone and transferred the money. From her expression it was clear that she almost considered it an insult.
When we left the café, a heavy silence stood between us. Near the metro she stopped and said:
— I need to be alone for a while. I’ll go to a friend’s place.
I simply nodded.
A few days later we met at home and talked calmly. I said that I didn’t want to continue a relationship where one person carries all the responsibility.
She was silent for a long time, then quietly agreed.
A couple of days later she took her things. We broke up without scandals. Sometimes people simply realize they need different things.
